


Legally Ginger

by poppetawoppet



Category: American Idol RPF, Legally Blonde (2001)
Genre: Adam is Elle Woods, David Cook has terrible hair, F/M, I may have made up the stuff about vocal nodules, M/M, hush cats, mentions of other Idols, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-02
Updated: 2010-01-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 05:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4693478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppetawoppet/pseuds/poppetawoppet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A crossover of American Idol and Legally Blonde. Originally posted January 2010</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legally Ginger

**Author's Note:**

> apologies to the creators of _Legally Blonde_ for ripping off some lines. Apologies for the only gay men like musicals stereotype. I made up most of the stuff about vocal chords from fuzzy memory. Thanks to [](http://bubby-wubby.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://bubby-wubby.livejournal.com/)**bubby_wubby** for the overnight edit. A lot of the Idol personas I've included do not act in character. I just liked the idea of using them in that particular role of the movie.

_The room is dark. The TV casts a glow on multiple domes, revealing a table of dull jackets and loosened ties. There is a stack of folders on a side table, and the sticky remnants of lunch in the trash. Clive, the man at the head of the table, older than the building and a remnant from college history, presses play._

_A young man dressed completely in black, well black and silver, invades the screen. His blue eyes blaze directly into each of the audience's.  
"Hi, I'm Adam. And this is why I should be at Harvard Law School."_

_A thick pulsing beat begins. There are men and women surrounding Adam, dancing, writhing, and wearing everything from leather to chains and what looks like just glitter. The dancers rub up against Adam, one by one, in pairs. Adam walks by without even noticing._

_"Lawyers must be cool and calm under pressure. Despite the chaos in my house right now, I am willing to ignore it."_

_The camera follows him outside, lovingly resting on his behind. Adam strips his jacket, revealing a black vest and freckles all over his arms._

_"In order to be a lawyer I must be able to remember obscure information at any given time."_

_Another man, tall, dark and wearing leather walks up to Adam, "Hey Adam."_

_"Hey Cassidy."_

_"Tell me again about **Sweeney Todd**."_

_Adam turns to the camera, a knowing smile on his face. "The original Sweeney Todd was Len Cariou, but in the PBS television version he was replaced by George Hearn. Angela Lansbury was the original Mrs. Lovett, although Patti Lupone was divine. But the only Tobias as far as I’m concerned is the delicious Neil Patrick Harris. Furthermore while the movie was probably as good as we'll ever see, the loss of the chorus was quite tragic. Don't you think?"_

_"Truly," Cassidy murmured._

_The screen flashes to an interior room, a theater. The scene is dark, costumes are dirty and ragged, with the chorus singing the final notes of the "Ballad of Sweeney Todd.” They freeze and Adam walks up the middle, dressed in an impeccable black suit and silver tie._

_"As a lawyer I have to make complex arguments while still maintaining credibility."_

_"Adam?" a young man asks._

_"Yes, Brad?"_

_The young man frowns a moment, then shakes his head. "Tell me why, in your professional opinion, George Hearn made a perfect Sweeney Todd."_

_"Well, Bradley, these are my arguments: one: George Hearn, while not the best singer to grace the role, brought a certain gravitas whether it was the eighties or nineties. Two: you could tell, no matter what performance, that he loved the role. Three: and most importantly, he's a Gemini, which is perfect for the dual nature of Sweeney's love for his child and his hatred for others."_

_Adam smiles at the camera again as Brad nods sagely. The scene flicks one last time, this time to a city sidewalk filled with people walking in every direction. These people stop to look at windows, wave at the camera: it is LA after all. Adam is dressed in jeans, a t-shirt and a plaid button up. He is holding hands with a bearded young man in a tank top._

_"I am also comfortable using legal dialogue in any situation. Right Drake?"  
"Whatever you say, cher," Drake says._

_A voice comes from behind the camera, sounding suspiciously like Brad. "You fags are gonna burn in hell!!!!!"_

_Adam shakes his head. "I object. Furthermore I resolve to strike the testimony from the record."_

_He smiles one last time at the camera as it fades out._

The room was silent. Clive cleared his throat. "Well then."

Nigel, at the other end of the table spoke up first. "Well, he does have a four point oh grade point average. And we are looking for diversity."

"Diversity."

"Well, he's gay."

Clive scoffed, "So is half of Massachusetts since we passed the marriage law."

"Ummm he's Jewish."

A woman at the end of the table shrugged. "That's not the in minority right now. We need to be looking for Hispanics. That's the minority of choice. Or Indians."

Clive leafed through the folder. "He did get a 179 on his LSAT. You said he had a four point GPA, Nigel?"

Nigel nodded, "In musical theater."

"A theater major? We don't have any of those do we?"

The woman shook her head and Clive smiled. "Welcome to Harvard, Mr. Lambert."

*

Adam swung the Mustang in front of the brick building, letting out a breath. He loved his car, but driving it cross-country had not been one of his brighter ideas. Sure it brought him attention, but his knees were _killing_ him. He looked up, wondering how he was going to survive in such a dreary place. California was all colors and bright skies. Here, everything seemed to be brick and ivy and _plaid_. He dusted off his leather jacket and looked back to the van following him. He grinned as the movers began to pull down boxes, drawing a crowd.

 _Great. An audience. My home._ Adam thought as he directed the men towards his room. He heard the various catcalls of the students, wincing as several of the men called him Edward. _Maybe this jacket is a little too Twilight,_ Adam sighed. He had to focus on his mission and nothing at all. He squared his shoulders, remembering why he was here.

*  
**Five months earlier**

Adam adjusted the cuffs of his suit once more, smiling as Matt nodded at the waiter. This was it, the day that Matt finally asked him to marry him. Adam had fretted about it for the last few days, but Brad and Cassidy had assured him that Matt would have not met with his infamous grandmother if not to secure permission. Adam had spent all day preparing, slicking back his hair and ironing the only suit he owned.

"So, Adam," Matt cleared his throat.

"Yes, baby?"

"Well, as you know, I'm going to Harvard, and law school," Matt sighed. "Law school is different. It's serious."

"I know that," Adam nodded.

"Well, as you know, I saw my grandmother this weekend."

"I know that must have been tough."

"Actually it went better than I thought,” Matt replied. See, my grandmother has finally accepted me being gay. She said that I should still have babies, but if it was men I liked, then so be it."

"That's amazing, baby!" Adam brightened.

Matt smiled weakly, adjusting his collar. "Well, anyway, if I'm going to be a member of the United States Congress by the time I'm 30, I really need to buckle down. Turn things around. That's why…that's why I'm breaking up with you."

Adam gaped, "What?"

"See, Adam,” Matt paused, seeming to gather his words carefully. “It's okay for me to be gay, but, I mean, you're a little out there for the general population. It's going to be hard enough to get elected without having someone so, extravagant at my side."

"Is it the glitter? I can wash that off," Adam said, almost frantic.

"No, baby," Matt shook his head. "The glitter isn't the problem. It's just that I have to stop playing around and have to start acting like my life is going to be more than clubs and parties."

"So you're saying that when you told me you'd love me forever, you were just playing around?" Adam's voice had reached full volume, enough for the whole restaurant to turn around.

"Adam—"

"No Matty.” Adam replied loudly. “I'm done. I can't believe you'd throw away what we have just for a little acceptance. I thought I knew you better than that." Adam stood up and strode out, proud that he hadn't cried yet, that his face hid the pain in his heart.

*

"He's been lying like that since last night." Cassidy said, trying to whisper, but not succeeding.

Adam opened one eye, groaning at the familiar taste in his mouth and the throbbing in his head. Going out to the clubs for the last week and a half had probably not been the greatest idea, but it helped mask the shame of having been dumped by one Mr. Matt Giraud.

"But he has to get up eventually, Cass. It's not healthy for him to be like this."

"Yeah, but it has been fun," Cassidy sighed.

"You're only saying that because you got some last night," Brad whined.

"So did you, asshole."

"You know I like it when you talk dirty."

Adam opened both eyes then. Were Brad and Cassidy _flirting_ with each other? He sat up carefully, dislodging the magazine stuck to his cheek. He looked up, wincing as he saw Brad and Cassidy kissing. This was too much, even for him. Then the picture and the headline in the magazine caught his eye as he peeled it off of his face.

**California Senator Jim Verraros and His Partner Welcome a New Addition!**

Adam looked at the pair, seeing that Senator Verraros had married an older man, a serious man. _Mr. Gary Smith is a graduate of Yale Law and is an attorney for the firm of Barrino, Studdard, and Hicks._

"Of course," Adam whispered. He stood up, ignoring the wobbling in his legs. He pushed past Brad and Cassidy.

"Adam?"

Adam turned, eye make-up smudged, a giant smile on his face. "I figured it out! I'm going to law school!"

*

"Law school?"

"Yup," came the confident reply.

"Adam, I love you so much," Paula said, "and I think you could dance on any path to greatness, but I'm not so sure—"

"It's Harvard or bust, Paula."

Paula nodded once. "Well, then. You'll need to get great recommendations from your professors. A great admissions essay. And at least a 175 on the LSAT."

"I can do it."

"I think you could do anything," Paula beamed at him.

*

Present day

Adam walked down the hallway, recognizing some faces from orientation, noting that the  
uniform seemed to be button-downs and boring. He ran a hand down his vest, thanking his mom for convincing him into the blue as opposed to the gray.

A familiar head of curly hair was just ahead of him. Adam felt his heart beat just a little faster, and steeled himself. He passed Matt, close enough so Matt would recognize his cologne.

"Adam?"

"Oh. Hi Matt!" Adam said, feigning surprise.

Matt's brow crinkled, "Are you here to see me?"

"No," Adam scoffed, thinking, yes of course that's why I'm here. "I go here."

"You got into Harvard Law School?"

"Well, yeah. Anyway, I have class in ten minutes and it would be terrible to be late to that, but I'll totally meet you outside!" Adam turned, grinning and knowing Matt was still staring.

*

"The law is reason free from passion!"

Adam grumbled to himself as he stalked across the lawn. He knew he should have checked his syllabus more closely, but that woman! He almost tripped over a guitar case, not even glancing at the figure on the bench. Adam stopped at the next one over, and sat down in a huff.

"Are you okay?"

It was the twang that brought Adam's head up. The figure next to the guitar case was dressed in jeans and plaid-of course he's in plaid, three quarters of this campus seems to be wearing plaid- and if Adam could have picked a potential boyfriend out of a catalog, this man would have been number one on his list. If he hadn't have been wearing plaid.

"Do they always just come at you like that?" Adam asked, and turned so he could be face to face with him.

The man raised an eyebrow, "The professors?"

"Yeah," Adam said sullenly.

"Yeah. It's a learning experience."

"But do they kick everyone out of class?"

"Ah. You have Miss Clarkson," the stranger replied with a smile.

Adam nodded again, "Yeah."

"She's tough. She made me cry third class in. Not in class, but later. I'm Kris by the way," Kris said, leaning over to shake Adam’s hand.

"Adam." They shook hands, and Adam could feel the calluses. "You play?" Adam motioned with his chin to the guitar case.

"It's a hobby,” Kris said shyly. “Helps when you’re reading law all the time. Who else do you have besides Clarkson?"

Adam dug in his brain, "Ummm Cowell, Jackson and Dunkleman."

"Okay, Cowell likes confidence, so speak up in his class,” Kris answered knowingly. “Professor Jackson likes to try and be your friend. He isn’t. Sit in the back and you should be okay. Dunkelman likes to pull out obscure stuff from the footnotes, so if you study those you should be okay."

Adam stared. He had been doubted, teased and questioned since he got here. But this guy, Kris, just helped him out as if Adam wasn't someone strange, wasn't an intruder.

"Thank you. Are you a third-"

"Adam," a voice interrupted.

Adam looked past the bench and saw Matt waiting, his foot tapping slightly. Adam smiled an apology at Kris. Kris smiled back, his eyes crinkling. Adam sighed inwardly. He had too many complications without adding a flirtation to the list. He shut Kris out of his mind and walked over to Matt.

"Hey."

"How was your first class?" Matt asked.

"Good. Except some preppy Indian smarty pants tried to upstage me. But other than that I'm good."

"That's-" Matt turned as another man walked up behind him and laid a possessive hand on Matt’s shoulder. Adam noted the ring on the new man’s finger and saw the distinct letter G on the crest.

"Hello," Adam said, noting the self-satisfied smirk on the man's face. Desai. That was his name. It was the same guy who had purposely embarrassed him in class. "Who is this?"

"Umm, this is Anoop,” Matt said awkwardly. “We, ah, went to prep school together. We reconnected at my grandmother's birthday party this summer. Anoop, this is Adam—"

"We've met," Anoop said. "I've heard stories about you from Matt's family. You are the fascinating one aren't you? If you'll excuse me Adam, my fiancé and I have things to discuss."

*

It was tiny. It was in the middle of a weird section of town, but it was the only beauty salon for miles and Adam had to calm himself down. And since most of the gay bars here in Boston seemed to be the pretentious _“I'm going to pretend like I'm in a normal bar but with lots more guy on guy action type”_ rather than the free-wheeling crowds of glitter and leather that dominated LA, it was Adam's only option.

He maneuvered his Mustang into a spot, ignoring the heated looks of several other drivers as he cut off them off. Adam burst into the salon. Seeing a bored looking young man beside a chair, Adam walked over, not caring that the kid looked barely old enough to shave himself let alone work with other people's hair. But it was an emergency, so Adam sat in the chair and leaned back, looking up into a pair of dark brown eyes.

"It's an emergency, are you free for at least a wash and a cut?"

The kid nodded, "Gosh, are you okay?"

"No,” Adam sighed. “I skipped going to go see Idina Menzel reprise her role in _Wicked_ to study for the LSAT. I switched to clear nail polish. I haven't worn eye shadow in three weeks. I gave up a minor role in the next Spielberg film to be here. And for what?"

"I don’t know," the boy said, his fingers working miracles with Adam's scalp.

"I love Matt, but then he goes and gets engaged to the first piece of ass his grandmother threw at him. I should have never come to law school."

"Gosh that's terrible,” the boy replied sympathetically. “But you're doing better than me. I tell my dad I like boys and he kicks me out. My only schooling was cosmetology, like he didn't at least have a clue? The worst part is that he has my two cats, and I miss them, even if they were noisy."

"That's just wrong!" Adam exclaimed heatedly.

Adam looked at the boy through the mirror. He was wielding scissors and trimming Adam's hair it what seemed a haphazard manner. The kid was concentrating, but Adam had been there, if in a different way.

"Well, it's okay,” the boy continued. “I mean I get to live my life the way I want so…Anyway. What's this guy got that you don't?"

Adam wanted to reach out to the kid, but since he'd only known him half an hour, Adam didn't push it. "He's in a country club. He's a genius. He probably comes from old money."

"Is he as pretty as you?"

Adam looked up and saw the pink flush on the kid's cheeks. "Well, he really needs to get rid of the bowl cut, but with the right clothes and a little stubble? He'd be hot."

"Hmmm," the kid replied, back to concentrating on Adam’s hair.

"So,” Adam interrupted. “I have to know who you are so I can come back and see you again."

"Oh,” the boy chuckled softly. “David. I’m David, but most people call me Archie ‘cause the colorist is David, and he was here first."

"Okay Archie,” Adam asked relaxing back into the chair again. “So the love of my life is engaged, and I suck at being a lawyer. What do I do?"

Archie paused and frowned, "That's easy. Steal him back."

*

"As you know," Professor Cowell said leaning back in his chair, his British accent filling the room. "At the end of the year, I offer four internships at my law firm. Said internships will be offered on the basis of merit and merit alone…"

Adam listened as Cowell droned on about prestige, wondering if one more button was undone on the professor's shirt if it would be considered indecent. He realized then that Cowell had asked him a question, something about defendants…

"Well, if I had to be honest, Professor, I'd prefer to defend an innocent person."  
Adam's smile fell as everyone tittered. Cowell gave him a look and called on Anoop. Adam ignored the lawyer speech, focusing on Anoop's ring.

"So at least then, the client had committed a minor infraction as opposed to a felony."

Anoop looked back at him and Adam had had enough. "Professor Cowell?"

"Yes, Mr. Lambert?"

"I lied. I'd take the other one, because I like a challenge and I always win."

The scowl on Anoop's face was perfect.

*  
Adam padded to his room, his flip-flops slapping against his still wet feet. It had been a long day. He picked up his phone and called Brad.

"Oh my God Adam!” came the squeal from across the country. “Guess what?"

Adam smiled, "What?"

"I'm picking out wedding rings!"

"Wedding rings?"

Adam heard rustling and Cassidy came on the phone. "We were going to wait, but since you've been gone, we've realized how much we mean to each other. Is it okay?"

"Okay? It's fantastic!" Adam forcing enthusiasm he didn’t feel in his voice. He lay down against his pillows. It wasn't okay, but why ruin his friends' day?

"Anyway," Brad interrupted. "Keep June second open, ‘cause we're coming your way since California is a bitch. You’re our best man and maid of honor, so figure out how you are going to manage okay?"

"Okay."

"How's Harvard?" Brad asked.

"Gayer than I thought," Adam replied.

Brad laughed, "Oh Adam. Have you got the ring yet?"

"No. Almost."

"Good. We'll call you later! And don't stop sending us updates!"

Adam stared at the phone. Calling home was supposed to make him feel better. But he felt even more depressed. He had always had Brad and Cassidy, and now they had each other. He heard voices in the hall, and stepped into the doorway.

"Did I hear something about a party?"

Anoop turned to him, a pretty blonde beside him. Megan, Adam thought.

"Yes,” Anoop said. “But it's a costume party. You wouldn't really like it."

"Are you kidding? I love dressing up!" Adam felt better already.

Anoop nodded once, "Okay. It's at 32 Anthem Drive. Seven o'clock Sunday."

Adam beamed excitedly, already designing his costume in his head.

*

Adam ignored the looks as he stood in line, laptop cradled in his arms. He replayed the scene over and over in his head: Matt laughing at first, then becoming serious as Adam pulled him aside. Anoop with a smirk that Adam wanted to punch off his face, except that the wings restricted his movements.

Adam closed his eyes again. He had never been embarrassed much, but tonight was probably the worst night of his life.

Which was only amplified as he literally ran into Kris.

"Sorry,” Adam mumbled. “I was daydreaming."

"No it's okay," Kris said, brushing off his jeans and picking up Adam's bag.

"Are you okay?"

Adam laughed bitterly, "I've had better days."

Kris nodded, "I get that. Well, I have to get some stuff, so I'll see you around?"

Adam smiled and nodded back, thankful that for the first time tonight someone had treated him as if nothing was different. He turned to start walking when he heard Kris call out-  
"Adam!"

Adam turned, raising an eyebrow, “What?"

Kris looked him up and down and said, "That's a good look for you. Very hot."

Adam blinked as Kris winked at him and turned into the store. Adam was too much of an emotional mess to figure it out just yet. But he knew that one person in this place could treat him normally. He shifted his wings and walked on.

*

_Excerpts from emails from Adam Lambert to Brad Bell_

…“Believe it or not I actually bought a computer and am about to—gasp—study. After the disaster last week, I have to get serious about all of this. Will update later.”…

…“You would not believe the day I had! I was in the library (I know, right?) and that guy who I said was the worst homophobic asshole of them all? Michael? He totally helped me out today! Said I was an okay guy. I need to revise my opinion of him.”…

…“Made Matt look at me twice today when I answered a question right in Professor Clarkson's class.”…

…“So I went out with Archie today—don't say it Brad, the kid is totally not interested in me—and we went to his Dad's house and got his cats back! I totally blasted him with obscure law talk and Archie snuck in and stole them! He was so funny, because they were yowling the whole way home, and he kept telling them to hush like they could listen. Tell Cass that yes, I really am studying. I'm really getting into this law thing, funnily enough.”…

…“DYING RIGHT NOW!!! I know I said I'd email yesterday, but I'm totally enjoying the fact that I totally beat Matt in class yesterday! Cowell was doing his whole put you in a law situation thing and Matt answered, but I came up with a better one! Then Cowell suggested I try for one of his internships, so I gave him my resume. Remember you, Cass and me searching every Kinko's in California for the right paper? He and Kris—yes THAT Kris, who I think is an actual lawyer—stared at it, and Kris finally asked if it was glitter. I said yes, of course. The looks on their faces was priceless!!…

…“Okay, I know this is short, but apparently Cowell has some high profile murder case coming up and he's taking his interns early! Will update later!”…

*

Adam strode through the crowd, using his arms to push through the milling crowd. He noticed Matt and Anoop holding each other, Anoop gleefully cawing their success. Adam shook his head and returned to the list. He saw the names of Matt, Anoop, Catherine and himself. Adam grinned, inwardly cheering while maintaining outward calm.

He walked up to Matt, "So Matt, you remember that night in WeHo when we spent four hours in the back of that club?"

Matt swallowed nervously, "Y- um, no."

Adam smirked, "Liar. Anyway, this moment right now? Better than that."

Adam heard Anoop's gasp as he walked away. " _Four hours_?" Adam pumped his fist.

*

"So the defendant is one Mrs. Kristin Seacrest, wife of the late Ryan Seacrest, who was rolling in money. That is quite the motive considering Mrs. Seacrest is thirty years his junior. She is, ah, a former theater performer and musician. Mr. Seacrest's daughter from his first marriage, Miss Jasmine Seacrest Trias—she took her stepfather's name when the first Mrs Seacrest married again—and the pool boy, a Mr. Clay Aiken found Mrs. Seacrest crying over the body, her hands bloody. The gun has not yet been found."

Adam nodded and carefully took notes as Professor Cowell laid out the case. The room was full of black, Adam's own suit included. Except for Adam's bright blue tie and Kris's green pocket square, it was as if they were at a funeral.

"Wait," Adam said.

"Yes, Mr. Lambert?" Cowell replied back in a bored voice.

"She's a theater person? You don't mean Kristin _Chenoweth_ do you?"

Cowell looked at the file, "Maiden name: Chenoweth. Why do you ask?"

"Kristin Chenoweth taught a vocal class I took in school,” Adam said enthusiastically. “The way she uses her voice is amazing! Plus her music for kids is even more amazing!"

"For kids?"

"Uh-huh. She's made a fortune off her _Kristin and the Kiddies_ CDs. It should be in the file," Adam pointed out.

Cowell looked down, nodding slowly. "Huh. So money may not be such a motive. Good work Lambert. But she doesn't have an alibi she's willing to give, so we'll see."

*

"So you're one of my lawyers?" Kristin asked.

Adam gulped and nodded, "Sort of."

The blonde on the other side of the glass was pale, her face washed out by the orange of the prison jumpsuit. "I know you. You took a class from me once."

Adam blushed, "Yeah."

"You have one of the most flexible voices I've ever heard!"

Adam beamed, "Oh, please. You are the one who is seriously talented. Anyway, I brought some supplies for you," he motioned to the basket with makeup, sheets and magazines.

"You are amazing. Too bad you're gay," Kristin sighed. "So why are you here?"

"Well,” Adam said. “Without an alibi, even Mr. Cowell is going to have a hard time defending you. I mean, first off, there's the age thing—"

Kristin laughed, "Oh trust me, I loved Ryan. He was _very_ creative in bed. But my alibi? I couldn't."

Adam could hear the strain in her voice. "If you tell me I swear I won't pass it on. But you have to tell someone."

"I can't…"

Adam pressed his hand against the glass, "Yes, you can."

"I was-" Kristin's voice dropped so low Adam couldn't hear.

"I'm sorry?" he asked leaning in closer.

"I was recording tracks for my next concert!" Kristin shouted.

"No!"

"Yes!" She buried her face in her hands. "I've made my living off of singing live, but my voice has been shot lately, and… if it got out, my career, I would be  
ruined!"

Adam nodded, "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

*

"So anyway," Adam said."She’s totally innocent. It's all kinds of exciting."

Archie nodded, carefully painting Adam's nails. The door opened, and a UPS deliveryman came in, walking straight to Archie.

"I have a delivery for one David Archuleta," the deliveryman said, his voice low and dangerous.

Adam sighed as Archie froze, and reached up for the slip of paper. He noted the flirtatious gleam in the UPS deliveryman's eyes, and remembered to note his name. Cook it said, and then the man in brown shorts smiled at Archie and Adam, giving a special wink just to Archie and walked out the door.

"Gosh, I'm so stupid around him," Archie sighed, picking up Adam's hand and buffing the nails again.

"He likes you," Adam said.

"You think?"

Adam sighed. He had to help the kid. Otherwise Cook the UPS guy would move on, because Archie was just a tad too on the fresh and innocent side for a guy like that.

"Yeah, I think,” Adam said. “He is cute. Beautiful eyes."

"Fantastic skin."

"His hair is a fucking mess though," Adam said.

Archie giggled, "Yeah, but I could fix that."

Adam smiled, "Yes you could. But first you have to get his attention."

The colorist, David Hernandez, walked in. "What about the bend and snap?"

Adam shook his head, "No. Too wild for this little one. He doesn’t have the sass to pull it off."

Archie giggled again, "So what do you suggest?"

Adam frowned thinking it over, "Well, you are kind of small. I have an idea. Let me work on it."

A plan began to form in Adam's head: it was complicated and would involve a little theater, but theater was what he did best…

*

"So a 'Benjamin Barker' went and visited Mrs. Seacrest last night," Cowell looked at Adam.

"Okay, okay, I went and saw her," Adam admitted.

"And?"

"She has an excellent alibi," Adam stated confidently.

"Well what is it?"

"I can't say. I promised I wouldn't."

"You-you-you," Cowell spat. "Someone please tell the ignorant twat to tell the alibi. Or else." And walked away.

The room erupted. Anoop sorted through files in the back, while Kris watched silently from the end of a table, others purposely didn’t look at him.

Matt finally leaned over, "Look, if you tell him the alibi, you are as good as guaranteed one of those internships. Just do it."

Adam frowned and shook his head, "But I promised."

"It doesn't matter and you know it. People break promises all the time."

Before Adam could answer Cowell came back, a determined look on his face.

"Apparently the first Mrs. Seacrest doesn't want to be interviewed. Mrs. Kara Dioguardi Seacrest-Trias is at a spa, recovering from the emotional wounds of her first husband dying and her second cheating on her," Cowell's eyes narrowed. "You would know spas, wouldn't you Lambert? Since you are so keen on interviewing people, you go interview her. Allen--keep watch over him."

Adam nodded, leaving the room with Kris.

*

"So this is a spa,” Kris said sarcastically, looking around.  
Adam gave Kris a look, "Trust me, if you want a haircut, I can take you to my guy. This place is overpriced and boring."

"Whatever you say. Where is Mrs. Dioguardi-Seacrest-Trias anyway?

"The mudroom."

An older woman, wrapped in foil, sighed as they entered the room, "Let me guess, you’re with Cowell."

"Yes, ma'am," Kris said.

"What a nice boy," Kara purred. "I bet you’re hot. Why don't you take off the jacket?"

Kris swallowed and Adam held back a laugh.

"No thank you, Mrs. Dioguardi-Seacrest-Trias. Anyway, I'm not really interested."

"Please, call me Kara. And don't tell me you are one of those hopelessly gorgeous men who just happen to be gay? That would be tragic."

Adam raised his left eyebrow as Kris blushed, "Um, Kara, I don't think this topic is appropriate. We're here to discuss the second Mrs. Seacrest."

"That means I'm right. Damn. You too, huh?"

Adam nodded, "Half of Massachusetts it seems."

Kara laughed, "I like him! At least he tells the truth!” She sighed, and replied bitingly. “All I know about Mrs. Seacrest the second is that she and Ryan were very active in the bedroom if you know what I mean. Frankly, she was an addict. I mean she and the pool boy were obviously getting it on, so maybe Ryan lost his mojo."

"You are saying she and the pool boy were having an affair?" Adam asked.

"Definitely. Anytime Jasmine mentioned him and her, I definitely got the impression there was something between them."

*

"So I have to say I'm kind of glad you stood up to Simon," Kris said from the driver’s seat.

Adam turned in his seat, watching as Kris kept his eyes on the road, his eyes flicking over to Adam.

"Well, the secret isn’t mine to tell. Besides, he was being a bit of a, well, ass."

Kris smiled, "I think he was born that way. So you really think I need a haircut?"

Kris had pulled up to the curb. Adam assessed him, aware that Kris was attractive, and well, to be honest, fucking distracting, but decided to be honest.

"Actually, if you grew it out a little, it would be super sexy with a little product and nothing else." Adam replied sincerely.

"Huh. So no blue streaks?"

Adam ran a hand through his own black hair, "To be honest, I'm legally ginger."

"Really? Is what they say about redheads true?" Kris had a half-smile on his face that sent off all sorts of warning bells in Adam's head.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I'll see you tomorrow Kris."

"Maybe I'll become a redhead."

Adam shut the car door behind him and leaned into the window. "Don't even dare. You’re perfect just the way you are."

Kris grinned at him, "Well then. See you tomorrow, Lambert."

 _Way to not be obvious_ Adam scolded himself.

Adam felt conflicted. He loved Matt, but a little corner of his heart was still in the car with a certain lawyer/guitar player. He was still thinking about it when he ran into Mike Sarver talking with a couple of girls. Sarver was getting rejected.

Adam turned, and walked up to them, "Excuse me ladies." He slapped Michael, hard. "I know I said I was okay with it, but I cannot let it stand. Even though we shared nothing more than a kiss, I can't stop thinking of you and what we could have been. I only hope you are happy with these girls, because don't look for me if that doesn't work out."

Adam walked away quickly, grinning as he heard the girls asked Mike for his number.

*

Adam tried to look everywhere at once, the audience, the jury, the judge. In a lot of ways he recognized all of it as a special type of theater. He kept humming "Razzle Dazzle," grinning to himself. The judge had a friendly face, her blond hair cut short and boyish. But she wasn't one to mess with. At least that was what Kris said.

Adam looked to his left and made a decision. He and Anoop had actually gotten to know each other really well over the last few weeks, and Adam counted him as a friend. Somewhere in this journey he had given up on Matt. And it didn't hurt anymore. Besides, Adam had been going against type for so long, maybe it was time he went back to it. Kris would never know what hit him.

Mrs. Dioguardi-Seacrest-Trias was on the stand, her daughter Jasmine already having testified to walking in on Kristin hovering over Mr. Seacrest's body. The DA was now questioning her.

"The pool boy was wearing a thong and the new Mrs. Seacrest was definitely staring, Miss Underwood."

The DA nodded, "Thank you Mrs. Dioguardi-Seacrest-Trias."

Adam had initially judged this district attorney as a pretty blonde with no substance, but she was turning out to be as tough as nails. The judge called a recess until the next day. "Adam!"

Adam looked to Kristin who was being handcuffed to be taken back to the prison.

"Yeah?"

"Look at the pool boy!” She hissed as she was being led out of the courtroom. “The thong was a one-time deal. I was so physically repulsed I had to find an excuse to not be around him!"

Adam looked at the redhead in the corner of the courtroom and nodded, "Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

*

Adam sat idly flipping through a magazine while Archie organized his area.

"You aren't due in for a week."

"I can't come hang out?" Adam asked.

Archie stopped his cleaning, "You’re up to something, Adam. Gosh, I'm not _stupid_."

Adam grinned, "Maybe. But it's for your own good."

The door opened, and Cook, the UPS guy walked in. "I've got a package for Archuleta, David?"

Archie jumped a little. Adam shrugged his shoulder, still going through the magazine, "This is your chance, Archie."

He nodded and walked up to Cook, signing silently. "Thanks so much. I've been waiting for this."

"Glad to know you aren't going to run out of any cosmetological tools."

"I don't think that's a word," Archie giggled.

"That's because I made it up," Cook said dryly, taking back the signature pad.

Archie giggled again, and Adam counted down from five and the next part of the plan took place.

"David James Archuleta!"

Archie visibly winced as his father burst through the door, "I thought we agreed you would stay out of my life."

Jeff Archuleta pulled at his baseball cap and snarled, "I saw you with that lawyer friend of yours. He's like you isn't he? I thought maybe time away would cure you and now you have a boyfriend? How shameful."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Archie exclaimed.

Jeff looked at Adam, then at Archie. "Does it matter?" He began to crowd Archie into the counter. "You are still a sinner and a-"

Jeff gasped as Cook pulled him away.

"Leave him alone."

"Is everyone in this town gay?" Jeff argued.

"Doesn't matter," Cook said quietly, dangerously. "No one deserves to be told that."

"Stay out of my business!" Jeff shrieked, trying to push past Cook.

Cook kneed Jeff in the stomach, followed by two well placed punches. He then opened the door and shoved Jeff out. "Have a nice day. Don't come back."

Archie was still pressed against the counter trembling, "That was, gosh, that was…"

Cook looked at him, shaking out his hands, “Do you have any ice? I'm not going to be able to play tonight otherwise."

"You're a musician?" Archie asked softly.

"Yeah. Want to come to the show?"

"Um, yeah. I mean, that would be cool," Archie grinned as Cook wrote down an address. Adam nodded to him, mouthing, _You are welcome._

*

Adam stood outside the courtroom, still humming "Razzle Dazzle." He was waiting at the water fountain behind the next witness, who surprised him by turning around and saying, "You know, _Chicago_ has to be one of the best musicals ever. Please don't ruin it."

Adam stared at the pool boy, then rushed into the courtroom. "Professor Cowell! The pool boy is gay."

"Really?” Cowell said acerbically. “And how is it you know that?"

Adam looked around, his eyes settling on Mike Sarver who was just observing. "Mike?  
"

"Yeah?"

Adam hummed a few bars of the song, "What was that?"

"You were humming?" Came the reply.

"Kris? Matt? Anoop?"

All three nodded. Cowell frowned, "Doesn’t matter. Allen, you do the questioning. I think he's ugly and boring."

Adam sent a pleading look Kris's way and Kris nodded once. Adam watched as he looked at the pool boy and gathered himself.

"So, Mr. Aiken, you claim you and Mrs. Seacrest were having an affair."

The pool boy nodded once, his red hair spilling over his pale forehead, "Yes. She loved  
me."

"I see," Kris said. "And did you ever go out on a date with her?"

"Yes. But it was out of town, so no one would know. She said that she was going to rid herself of that no good husband, after they had been on a break for so long. I didn't realize she was going to kill him."

"Objection! The witness is speculating!" Kris turned to the judge, and Adam shivered. He had never realized law could be this exciting.

"The jury will ignore the witness's last statement. You may continue Mr. Allen," the judge said.

Kris nodded, "So how long have you been having an affair with Mrs. Seacrest?"

"Six months," Mr. Aiken answered.

"And when did she say she was leaving her husband?"

"Two months ago."

"And you told no one."

"No."

"And the name of your boyfriend is?"

"Perez."

The court exploded and Kris sent a sly grin to Adam, who smiled back, almost positive now that Kris was _flirting_ with him in public.

"I'm sorry Mr. Allen,” Aiken tried to diffuse the situation. “I-, I was confused. Perez is certainly a friend. A good friend. But he isn't my boyfriend."

"You bitch!" A pudgy man with pink hair stood and stalked out of the courtroom.

"Wait! Perez! I didn't mean! I- please may I be excused?" Aiken asked the judge.

"Any more questions?" the judge asked Kris.

"No your honor, the witness is free to go," Kris said, backing against the podium as Aiken ran out of the room, crying.

"Good call, Adam," Cowell said, glaring at Kris, who shrugged as if to say _well you gave me the witness._

*

"That was so exciting today, don't you think?"

Adam looked up from the pile of files he was reviewing and nodded at Anoop.

"Yeah. It was wasn't it?"

"I'm gonna get going, but Cowell wants to see you. Probably to yell at you and congratulate you at the same time."

"You mean his usual operational standard then," Adam said and Anoop laughed, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Adam walked down the hall to the dimly lit office. Professor Cowell sat on a beaten leather couch. When he saw Adam, he extended his arm to signal Adam to sit on the opposite side.

"You asked for me?"

"I did.” Cowell said. “See Adam, I've been thinking, and what happened today, reminded me of why I chose you for this position in the first place. You aren't afraid to fight for what you think is the truth. And I like that. Have you thought about your future in law?"

Adam nodded, slightly uncomfortable with the way Cowell was leaning forward.

"I was thinking a summer internship. Don't know where yet."

"We'd be glad to have you with us."

Cowell placed a hand on Adam's leg, his hand moving upwards, Adam was too horrified to move. Finally he stood, knocking Cowell’s hand off his leg, "I don't think we're on the same page, Professor. Sorry."

"Really?” Cowell said with disdain. He leaned back on the sofa and eyed Adam, “Do you really think a washed up _theater major_ from California is ever going to be taken seriously without help? I heard you were quite the man on campus at home. Or so Matthew said. Maybe he was wrong. Or maybe you _are_ stupid."

Adam opened his mouth and turned to leave. He had reached the elevator when Anoop stopped him.

"I thought maybe you were nice. But I guess not,” Anoop accused. “Matt said you were like that, but I didn't believe it. Maybe I should have."

Before Adam could defend himself, the doors closed and Adam closed his eyes, anger and regret rising up. He stalked into the lobby, running straight into Kris.

"Adam, what's wrong?"

"What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” Adam screamed in frustration. “I came out here for entirely selfish reasons and its biting me in the ass, that is what’s wrong Kristopher! I thought I was really doing well. I liked being a lawyer. But apparently I'm still a washed up drama queen."

" _What?_ "

"All anyone seems to see me as is a party boy who likes to sleep around,” Adam sighed with frustration. “I should have never come here. The only good thing that came of it was you. But even that’s…I'm going home so I can be myself again."

Kris stopped Adam’s pacing, pressing his hand to Adam's chest, "What if you are being yourself?"

Adam paused, "I don't know. But Cowell was right. No one will take me seriously. He obviously didn't."

"What are you talking about, Adam?"

"I found out I got the internship because he wanted to have sex with me. Apparently I'm a whore now. And I surprised him when I rejected his advances earlier."

"He did what?" Kris's eyes were dark, his voice low.

"It doesn't matter.” Adam shook his head. “I'm done. Finished."

"Stay."

The crack in Kris's voice made Adam pause. "I wish I could. You should come out to San Diego. You'd fit right in. Call me if you ever come out that way. I've always liked them short and Southern."

Adam walked out the door.

*

"So call me and tell me how things work out with Cook," Adam said, trying to fight back tears. "I spent too much effort for a relationship like yours go to sleep."  
"Are you sure about this Adam? I mean gosh, I thought you were doing really well?" Archie asked.

"Yeah, well I'm tired of it,” Adam groaned. “Tired of assholes like Cowell expecting things that I'm not capable of, people only expecting me to be one way. I think I'll go back to the theater. Maybe try out for _American Idol_. I don't know."

He squeezed Archie tightly one last time and picked up his bag.

"If you are going to let a douchebag like Simon Cowell ruin a great career," Adam turned as he saw Professor Clarkson in the salon chair. She turned to Adam, "Then maybe you deserve to be a washed up theater major. But I always thought you could be more."

"Professor Clarkson. I just—"

"I received an agitated phone call from one of my former students, a Mr. Allen?” Clarkson paused and smiled. “I see you know who he is. He told me to tell you three things. One: Kristin wants to fire Cowell for what he did. Two: Anoop misinterpreted things and wants to apologize. And Three: instead of walking on the beach in San Diego, there are perfectly good beaches right here in Massachusetts."

Adam smiled sadly, "But how do I face him after what he did? I feel so used."

Professor Clarkson walked up to him and hugged him warmly, "Trust me. Simon Cowell may be a douche, but underneath it all, he's a coward. You showing up would be scarier than anything he could imagine. Plus I believe if you talk to a Mr. Sarver, you might get some ideas on how to proceed."

Adam looked at Archie, who had a giant smile on his face, then back at Professor Clarkson. Adam nodded, determined, and walked out.

*

Adam stood outside the door, Mike Sarver behind him. He smoothed his suit again, wondering if the silver was too much. But it was his favorite suit, so he shrugged it off. He could hear a commotion in the courtroom and judged the time as right. He opened the doors, and noted the shocked look on Cowell's face. The DA looked smug. Adam felt like he was going to throw up.

"Excuse me, but I told you you were fired," Kristin said, looking at Cowell.

"Adam will represent me."

"You can't fire me," Cowell retorted. "And he—"

"All right everyone who is a lawyer or claiming to be one, up here!" the judge shouted.

Adam, Cowell, Kris and DA Underwood approached the judge, Mike Sarver trailing slowly behind them all.

"I have no objection to this development your honor," Underwood said, smiling.

"Of course you don't," Cowell snapped "He's still a student."

"If I may?" Adam took a book from Sarver. "Massachusetts code 3.03 says a law student may represent a client as long as a lawyer supervises."

The judge looked at Adam, "I am aware of the code. Are you willing to supervise, Mr. Cowell?"

Cowell bit back a remark and said respectfully, "No your honor."

"I will."

Everyone turned to Kris, who smiled at Adam. Cowell rolled his eyes, turned to Kristin, "Hope you enjoy prison."

The judge pounded the gavel, "Okay counselor, you may proceed."

Adam took a moment to realize the judge was talking to him and jumped a little. He turned to gather himself, grinning as he saw Archie wave to him from the audience. He was sitting next to Cook, whose hair was cut, parted differently and noticed that somehow Archie had convinced him into growing a little bit of a beard. Adam gave them the thumbs up. He turned back to the judge.

"First, I believe all charges should be dropped,” Adam stated. “There is a complete lack of evidence against my client."

A titter of laughter ran through the room, and the judge rolled her eyes as she overruled him. _Well, it had been worth a shot,_ Adam thought.

"The defense calls Miss Jasmine Seacrest-Trias to the stand."

The young woman took the oath, and sat, smiling, a flower behind her left ear.

"So Miss Trias,” Adam walked over to the stand. “I have to wonder about the day of your father's death. You said you were recording at the time?"

Jasmine nodded, "Like I said, I walked out of our home studio and found _her_ over my father's dead body, her hands covered in blood."

"But you didn't hear the shot?"

"I was in the studio. It's soundproof," Jasmine replied.

Adam felt there was something he was missing, "So you came home, went into the studio, came out after you were done, and you didn't hear the shot because you were in the studio."

"Yes."

"I think we established the witness was in the studio at the time of the shooting counselor," the judge interrupted.

"Of course," Adam turned again. Kris smiled at him, nodding once as if to say Adam was doing fine.

Adam smiled back, looking to the back as the door opened, Brad and Cassidy slipping into the back row. Adam wasn't sure how Brad had slipped past security in hot pants and a vest that barely qualified as a shirt, but the look of pride on their faces gave him an extra boost. He could do this. He turned again.

"Let's backtrack a little, Miss Trias. Why don't we go through your whole day."

Jasmine tossed her hair, "Well, I got up, saw my doctor in the morning, then hung out with friends for awhile, then went to the studio."

Adam paused, "Your doctor?"

"An ear, nose and throat specialist."

"I see, Miss Trias," Adam said. "Why would you be seeing one?"

"Oh, just some nodes on my vocal chords. Nothing major."

Adam stared at her. It couldn't be this easy, "Miss Trias, you take vocal lessons, correct?"

"Yes."

"And how often do you take vocal lessons?"

"Once a week for the last three years. The math I'll leave up to you," Jasmine replied, smiling at the jurors.

Adam turned to the jury, "I have a friend, Brad who had nodes on his vocal chords. He was supposed to play Tobias in _Sweeney Todd_."

"Objection!" DA Underwood stood. "Relevancy?"

"Oh I have a very good point, your honor," Adam said.

"Then make it."

Adam nodded, "Anyway, Brad went on and sang that night, with great accolades, etc, etc. But he made a mistake.” Adam turned back to Jasmine. “Do you know what it was Miss Trias?"

Jasmine shook her head.

"The problem is anyone with nodes on their vocal chords shouldn't even _talk_ let alone sing for at least two weeks. They may even require surgery. If you sing with them…well let's just say Brad is pursuing a career as a model right now. So I have to wonder how it is someone who has had one hundred and fifty six vocal lessons and is seeing an otolaryngologist does not know this. Because if you did, then maybe you weren't in the studio. And that means Mrs. Seacrest didn't have time to hide a gun. But you did? Didn't you?" Adam pounded on the witness table.

Jasmine's bottom lip quivered, "I did it! I shot my father! But look at her! She's close enough to my age to be my sister! I didn't want to shoot him. I thought it was _her_!"

"Oh my god," the judge whispered.

"Oh my God," the DA repeated.

"Oh my Ra," Adam put a hand to his chest.

"The court is ordering the arrest of Miss Jasmine Seacrest-Trias for the murder of Ryan Seacrest. Mrs. Seacrest, you are free to go."

Adam stood stock still as the court room erupted, grinning loopily as first Kristin, then Kris and everyone else hugged him.

*

"Adam!"

Adam turned, seeing Matt run down the hall. Most everyone else was still in the courtroom.  
"Yeah?"

"Baby, that was amazing,” Matt said breathlessly. “I have to admit, I was scared for a minute, but I was wrong. You’re the one for me, if you'll have me."

"What about Anoop?" Adam asked.

"Are you kidding?" Matt laughed. "The guy is as boring as hell. I miss you."

Adam shook his head, "You know, Matt, it's tempting, but in order for me to be even considered as someone who could run for office I'm going to need a boyfriend who isn't an underhanded two-timing douchebag."

Adam turned, leaving Matt to stutter in his wake.

*

Two years later.

"From the moment he stepped on campus, your class-elected speaker has been turning heads and doing the unexpected. I consider him both a student and a friend, and an excellent judge of character. Harvard graduates, I present Mr. Adam Lambert."

Adam hugged Professor Clarkson close and whispered, "Thank you so much."

"Thank you," she said. "You convinced me to go for highlights. Best decision I ever made."

Adam laughed and stood at the podium. "In my first class at Harvard a wise woman quoted Aristotle--'The law is reason free from passion.' She then kicked me out of her classroom."

The room laughed. Adam continued, "Thank goodness she did. Because the law is passion for me. Without passion, I would have never discovered how much I loved law, would never had had the courage to stand in a courtroom, would never have finished this degree. I think that if we give up passion, we give up life. So if I had one thing to say to all of you, don't ever give up your passion, whether it be for the law, for life, for your girlfriend or boyfriend—keep it strong and you'll do just fine."

Adam grinned, throwing his hat in the air. _He had done it._

EPILOGUE (OR WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE)

Cowell eventually left Massachusetts and joined an ambulance-chasing law firm in the Midwest, earning tons of money but never finding happiness.

Kristin Chenoweth reestablished her Broadway career, eventually becoming a TV star.

Professor Clarkson became the head of the law department at Harvard after Cowell's departure, establishing the recruitment of majors most law schools would never look at.

Brad and Cassidy got married, Brad became the model for Cassidy's leatherwear, while Cassidy eventually became one of the most sought after designers in America.

Archie and Cook ran away to California, where Cook was discovered for his music. He formed a band, Pit of Despair, and became a multi-millionaire. They have a son, Adam, a daughter, Kristina and four cats.

Michael Sarver eventually joined the law faculty at Harvard, becoming one of its most beloved professors.

Matt Giraud graduated law school with no marriage or job prospects. He was last seen busking somewhere in New Jersey.

Anoop Desai became best friends with Adam, dumping Matt for girl, a blonde named Megan. They married and live quite happily in North Carolina.

Kris Allen asked Adam out shortly after the trial was over. They have been dating, both wanting to take it slow. Kris proposed shortly after graduation, writing a song for the occasion. It was mostly terrible. Adam still said yes. They are currently working on Adam's campaign to become a California state senator, while raising two dogs and their daughter.

THE END


End file.
